I Don't Want To Change:

Strange things at 5 a.m.

2010-12-05T06:30:00.000-08:00

Oh god, I would actually wear this.  Minus the shoes and the bow of course,  but I would so totally wear this!

 Here is a short review of this outfit through my perspective:

There is this magnificent brilliance, in the choice of the light grey hoodie blending in with lavender purple without looking ghetto, but elegant within the principle in which it carries as a hoodie-being sporty.  This piece also represent its title as a hoodie, while not actually having a hood, but weaved in place with such fabric that can be seen clearly through pictures on screen. The sleeves carrie such flaunt in embracing its elegance, and its structure; that it is almost flawless to just about any posture in the various designs of clothing, and in this case, tops.

The second go-getter of this outfit is the black leg-hugging skinny jeans.  This pair of jeans is simple, yet sleek in such a way that it is brought to complete this outfit in not a blend, but as an establishment of the statement itself. The skinny jeans confirms the outfit's identity of the image that portrays itself now as a unique dynamic capture of bold elegance and poise entwined as soul mates, without swaying on the weighty side of flaws.  The finish of the outfit is strong and powerful and balanced all by itself in various ways. It is the earrings. The black earrings are symbolic in the thread of fashion and is too often used in outfits such as dresses- as an accessory. In this outfit however, the earrings are the gates of this entrance and of this exit. They are together, the legit pathway of the direction to the look that is the choice of the outfit. The black plate earrings creates the start, the fill and also the finish of how to capture the feminine side of the hoodie and at the same time, enhancing the blend and the beauty of the skinny jeans to go well with the figure altogether as a complete outfit, a look and a statement that stands tall and clear of its style with a strong and entirely supportive backbone.

-By Naomi Stothard.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the biggest liar of them all?

2010-12-03T02:37:00.000-08:00

"It's me. Bow down get on your knees,"

Oh you wish, so. You literally, indirectly, told me, and everybody else who knows about what you did, that you are a knock-off liar. And you're no good at it too.
I'm just disappointed it had to be you.

Technically, I'm single. Emotionally, I'm taken because in my heart, I'll always be his girl even if he doesn't know at all.

2010-11-30T04:51:00.000-08:00

And that's true. You may not see it, but it's true. You may not suspect it, but it's true.
You may not be able to imagine it, but it's true. You may not have guessed it, but it's true.
You may not accept it, but it's true.

I wrote this for you.

2010-11-25T02:10:00.001-08:00

Home.

My heart fills a bloody vein

When I sleep, in dreams

I see you only before pain

But it’s not what it seems.

Lucifer dress me in thorny roses

Reds and blues, blacks and whites

And I have all my dirty tricks

Under my sleepless nights

But you’ve become my idée fixe.

I could cut the bloody vein with a teardrop

I could use a knife to carve memories too

None as real, none as sharp

I could cut the bloody vein with a teardrop

Only if it were for you.

In this picture you belong

In this picture I don’t stand

I don’t have a place in this world so wrong

Where in this life will this maze end?

I long to kiss you, your godlike face

It may kill my pretentious bliss

For when I meet your familiar embrace

I will finally go home

For home is where my heart is.

On Halloween, 2010.

2010-11-04T13:11:00.000-07:00

The whole day replays in my memory like a movie without sound, only feelings.
There are so much to remember, so much to see. Yet, I have almost no words to describe it.
I went out with Diana, my best friend (one of the three) on Halloween to The Curve, an elite shopping mall near her place. We had plans to have lunch and later on watch a movie, just the both of us.
So we booked our tickets to 'Takers' and I was so happy. Call me gay, but I looked at her overloadingly beautiful miracle she has for a face and smiled. I was out with HER! On Halloween! And we were going to watch a movie and have lunch together. I felt such indescribable joy, freedom and pure happiness that I can swear I know no boy or man or date would ever know exist with her because no matter what ever they do, they will never understand the meaning of her, what she is, who she is to me, who she is at all.
They will never know how to appreciate time with her like I do. Like always.
So we decided to go to TGI Fridays, this really awesome place like 'Chilis' and we had Fried Mac & Cheese and shared a Shrimp Pasta, some really good stuff. We took a TRUCKLOAD of pictures and oh how the thrill overwhelmed me, such excitement at just the very thought that I were about to upload those cell phone pictures into my Mac and edit them to look extremely beautiful, and then add a whole new album of Halloween with her on Facebook. I was at an amazing place, with killer food and one of the most beautiful living beings alive, wearing pretty clothes and taking pretty pictures with absolutely NOTHING to worry about. Everything was just perfect. Best of all, it actually got better.
We walked to Cineleisure and made it in time for 'Takers' which was, just awesome.
'Takers' is an action packed movie with a tinge of humor and we laughed so hard at their puns and funny gestures and terrible facial expression and very clever comebacks. Although I didn't dress up as the mistress of the dark and she wasn't the hottest devil in existence, it was the best Halloween I've had, ever.

After 'Takers', we walked around the 'Street Market' (which is there every weekends) and went around a few stalls that sold very exotic earrings. Ohh this is the best part of shopping, EARRINGS, my idée fixe.
Dana picked out a gorgeous gold pair for me to match with a purple dress of mine I've been planning to wear at a wedding dinner for the longest time. It was perfect, still is actually (the earrings I mean) and she picked out a pair for herself too. See, earrings are magical shiny beauty entrancers because they make a girl look suddenly mind blazingly irresistible and it also works like a magic eye highlighter. Have that with eyeliner, ohh hell bless me...
But of course, someone as beautiful as her would look like a God by the time she's done accessorizing herself with earrings and eyeliner and an amazing outfit and her hair, the type that money can't buy.
We had so much fun walking around and it got way better when we walked into The Body Shop to sample delicious scented body butter and torturingly sweet smelling shower gel to get her set for the date she's never going to have, thankfully. Because I know I'D take her out everyday for a week if she were to put THAT much effort and thought into getting ready to go out with me.
I wouldn't put her to waste, and treat her like some cheap whorish rag I could kick around and shove aside and come back whenever I want it back.

We ran round and she got ice cream from Mc Donalds for her mum (which she ended up finishing all by herself) and while we were there, we laughed hardcore, like inhabitants of an asylum.
Her glamorous mom picked us up from The Curve and drove back to her place. When we got home, I took a bathroom break and washed my face. I went into her room after that and saw her posing in front of her red MacBook White for a picture. How cute. I watched her take a few more shots of herself until she found a nice one- I couldn't help but smile at her.
She changed into a yellow semi long sleeve top and a dark pair of jeans. Her mother was taking us out for a movie! ANOTHER MOVIE.
Oh Joy! We were going to watch another movie-two movies in a day. How awesome is that?!
We had dinner first, of course and we actually shared a bowl of ramen mushroom noodle soup. We even snapped some A.W.E.S.O.M.E. pictures with my cellphone camera because hers ran out of battery.

Dinner wasn't enough for me, so I dropped by Mc. Donalds to take out food and smuggle them into the movies. I ordered a double cheese burger and a large fries for Dana.
When I took my money out of my wallet, I realized that there was more money in it than usual. There was an extra ten bucks in it, and I was surprised because I was REALLY sure that I had just over twenty after all that shopping we did. I turned to Dana and I said; "There must be an angel here because I swear I only had twenty something left in my wallet before we left The Curve. Now I have an extra ten. I tell you, an angel MUST have put money into my wallet!"
She had the most queer face on, she hung her head in the most peculiar way and I knew she was on to something. I just knew it. "Dianaaaaa. Was it you? I know it was you!"
And she laughed! She actually laughed! So it was her! She had put money into my wallet. Why would she do that? I was shocked, really.
"Why did you do that?" I ask her. She just kept on laughing until I shoved the ten bucks into her top and she squealed. That turned many heads.
Then she stood next to me and half laughed while she told me why she put the money in. She said that it was because I said earlier in The Curve that I was running out of cash and I didn't want to buy anything more cause I didn't want to keep drawing out money from the bank. She said that she put the money into my wallet so that when I opened it, I would have more money.
I swear I could have cried then but I didn't because I didn't want to upset her. I know how she gets when I cry. I felt like crying, really. She comes from a well-to-do family, but of course like every other student, she doesn't earn a salary. Her pocket money is obviously her own savings and is limited. And to think that she'd actually give it up just to make me happy when I open my wallet, I couldn't bare the thought. It was so touching. She's so kind, so thoughtful. I've always loved that in her. It is one of the things I admire her for, so much. I felt so bad that she thought I needed money, cause that wasn't it at all.
"Oh no, I only didn't want to shop anymore after that because my dad says I have to save cash even though I have a lot in my bank. He wants me to save it for later on in life and stuff like that. Don't worry, I'm not running out of money. Thanks so much, gosh you're so kind." Was something I said. We tugged the food into our handbags and walked into the cinema.
We watched a funny action-comedy movie called 'The Other Guys' and it was hilarious. I had so much fun, I didn't even wear a jacket. LOL. Elyna, the Pastor and Di's uncle were there too. And of course, Diana's beautiful mom.
Aunty Sharmini sent me back to daddy's and I said goodbye to them all, gave Di a really big hug. But as always, the day could never come to an end and ever be enough time spent with her.

Sheer Idiots.

2010-10-26T01:06:00.000-07:00

Now we are so epic.

These are double edits. I mean, who swims with eyeliner on?

US.

'I Feel'

2010-10-24T06:01:00.000-07:00

Here's another poem I wrote for you. Wish you knew it were yours.

I Feel.

I feel this.

You care too much to ignore

Even when I diss

About my life’s depressing miss

When yours cuts deeper into the core

And you don’t say a word, until I ask

What’s wrong pet, what’s the bother

You keep silent and think first

Before I receive your reply, and another

Of stories about your mother

And your little brother

Easy goes I think, “There’s no matter”

He’s just quiet.

I feel human.

When words come to the screen

Words from you

Words so smart, so clean

Words you really mean.

I am touched when

I hear the song, Valentine

I think of you then

Of how I want you to be mine.

I feel love.

When you come to my picture

Confusing ramifications of feelings collide

Enough to skip heartbeats

Enough to make me cry.

I feel insane.

In the most sane way imaginable

When we talk without sound

I hear your voice, I feel indescribable

How I wish we were on the same ground.

I feel intense.

Your personality and your thoughts

They all make sense

But if I told you mine

You might not accept, might not understand

You might not want us to remain friends.

I feel sad.

When you tell me you cry

Shadows on my wall become bad

Making pictures of ways to die

Crawling slowly into my head

Crawling slowly towards my bed

My hands flood over the buttons

Quickly, I have to push them down

Before the clock above the curtains

Makes a complete round

And midnight passes by

No, I don’t want to say goodbye

Not ever, not just yet

Not after we just met

Without this machine, what would I do?

Without this machine I cannot talk to you.

I feel you.

Inside me, inside my heart

“Taking blood and making art”

If feelings were a picture,

Then you are my paint

If being perfectly good meant loving no other,

Then I am your saint.

New & 'Eyes'.

2010-10-24T05:58:00.000-07:00

October 24th 2010, Sunday
I've erased, Everything.
New things come in and since I'm new too, I think a change would be very nice.
And since exams are over and all, I've started writing again.
I've really nothing much to say (I'm sure you've noticed) so I'll just go ahead and post
the god-forsaken poems now.
Enjoy.

Eyes.

Eyes, they tell stories

Betrayers- all of them are.

I should know, because I notice

The lies we tell just to hide

But I can only go so far.

Eyes, they talk

They scream, and also cry

But cannot walk

Cannot run from a goodbye.

Eyes are forced to see everything

Good and happy, bad and sad

Good friends fight for nothing

Happy days that rain black

Bad feelings come flying in

When sad scenes meet

And a lost love never comes back.

Eyes plead sanity

I’m sure of this

The things we feel, things we see

When the person we kiss

Leave memories and a feeling of bliss.

Eyes suffer a lot

Before heartbeats can stop

Before blood can clot

Before tears can boil, and fall when they’re hot.

Suffer, eyes, suffer.

Scream, cry, and plead forever

Now you have to watch him walk

To the land of lost, the land of the clever

And he shall come back never

But words allow us to talk.

Just talk.

Your eyes, they talk to me.

They talk to me when you are silent

They tell me things

Things you may not want me to know

Things that you hide

Things you’d rather not show

Your eyes tell me secrets

They shout them at me

Did you not know?

It was your eyes that I first met

Inviting, warm, pure

And also distant, yet

I wanted more.

My eyes, I wonder if they do that to you.

Do my eyes tell you my secrets,

Do they scream, cry and plead

Do they do that too?

I'll never tell you unless you tell me we're still friends at least, but this is for you.